


Hold Me Now

by jonesyslug



Category: IT (1990), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22665289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonesyslug/pseuds/jonesyslug
Summary: Richie and Eddie stay behind at Jade of The Orient to have an important heart to heart.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	Hold Me Now

**Author's Note:**

> so, it appears that no, I will never come up with a title on my own and I will ALWAYS name things after songs. Shout out to Thompson Twins for Hold Me Now, which I actually didn't even listen to while writing this, but is a very good song. 
> 
> Also I didn't go into detail about how either of them looked because my brain kept switching back and forth between Ch. 2 reddie and Miniseries reddie, so imagine whomever you want. This is YOUR time, now. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Richie looked at him, standing in the dark, back lit by the colorful neon sign of the restaurant. 

His big eyes had a pink glimmer in them. God, he looked beautiful. He'd always been beautiful. 

The rain came down lightly, brushing over their skin in barely-there whisps of mist. 

And Richie just kept standing. He didn't want to move or think or ruin this moment. 

But oh, how he _ached_ to ruin the moment. To reach out and touch him. To be there with him in that moment and be- be more than what they were just now. 

But that was the terrifying part. The leap of faith. Because the ground could crumble right out from underneath you, when you landed. 

_If_ you landed. 

"Rich." 

Richie swallowed hard. He breathed slowly. 

"Yeah, Eds?" He asked, casually. His voice didn't carry even a hint of the tumultuous argument going on inside his chest. The fucking _need._

"Why aren't you saying anything?" 

It hit Richie from left field. The concerned and soft sincerity in Eddie's voice practically knocked the wind out of him. 

"I dunno." 

He looked down at the ground, at the lights reflected in the growing puddles. A picture show against the tarmac. A distraction. 

Then something on his shoulder. Eddie's hand. He nearly sighed. He could have ruined everything with the sigh hiding in his chest. It had too much emotion in it. 

"Richie, is something wrong?" 

His heart was racing itself, going for a new all-time record. He closed his eyes. 

Tears were forming, he could feel it in his throat. He was overcome with the urge to run. To get as far away from here and from Eddie as possible before he did something stupid. 

But Eddie called everything he did stupid. 

He smirked at that thought, letting out a little laugh that smuggled all the tears and a sob out with it. 

"Richie?" 

"I'm sorr- I'm so-" a jolt in his heart like a car battery getting jumped. He hugged Eddie and cried onto his shoulder. 

Eddie held him and rubbed his back and he thought, _this is it, this is bliss, this is just scratching the surface. This is all I'll ever get._

"Richie, what's wrong?" 

It bubbled up and terrified him, but it was already on the way out. 

"I love you, Eddie."

Eddie squeezed him. "I love you too, man." 

Richie groaned in desperate frustration, still crying. Still wobbling and scared and overwhelmed. 

" _Eddie…_ "

Eddie pulled back to look him in the eyes. To figure out what this meant. And Richie saw the instant he registered it. His eyes crinkled up in something that looked disgustingly like pity.

Richie wanted to run again but he was frozen. What if this was the last time he ever got to touch Eddie? Be touched by Eddie? He had to memorize it, then. He had to keep it forever. 

Eddie's face softened into something sad. "Richie, I'm-"

"I love you, Eddie." Richie said, again, tears streaming out of his eyes because now Eddie knew, really _knew_ what he meant. And he had to say it. Because even if everything else melted away and went to hell, that was true. It would be true forever. 

Eddie put his hand on Richie's cheek, and looked at him with big, sympathetic eyes. 

"I know, Richie." He said, quietly. He was starting to cry now too. 

"You know? Have you- I mean, how long? I-" Richie fumbled with the confusion hanging over him now. 

"Before I forgot everything, I think I knew then. And then when I saw you again… it hit me." He put his hand over his heart. "I just fucking felt it."

Richie closed his eyes. He balled his hand into a fist in Eddie's jacket. 

"And?" 

There was a long silence. A million years stretched out and all of Richie's insides rotted and turned black, and he thought he'd throw up, and then Eddie sobbed loudly. 

"I love you too, Richie." 

He sounded so fucking scared. Richie could feel his own pulse fluttering in his wrists and palms. There they were, they were broken and crying and they loved each other. He didn't know what the fuck they were supposed to do about it. 

Richie was about to say something, when Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and pulled Richie forward roughly, into a kiss. 

They both continued to cry as they kissed each other, holding each other closer, doing anything for _more_ , for _longer_ , for _anything._

"I love you. I love you." Eddie said, breathlessly, between kisses. 

Richie had to pull back from the kiss. He hated it, but he was crying too hard. He held Eddie to his chest. He rubbed his hair and just tried to breathe. 

"Eddie, what are we supposed to do?" Eddie was rising and falling with Richie's chest, feeling small in his arms. He always hated feeling small, but now, it felt like a miracle. 

"Eddie, I don't want to let go of you. I want to hold you forever. I- Eddie. I'm scared. What do we do, Eddie?" Richie was managing to slow his crying, but he didn't know what else there was to do. 

He got what he wanted, technically, so why did he still feel so doomed? 

_Eddie is married, Eddie has a life, Eddie doesn't need you._

The old record was playing in his head again. The chart-topper by Richie's Self-Loathing, _Eddie Doesn't Need You._

"I don't want to let go of you either." He said, burying his face against Richie's chest. "I don't want you to ever let go of me." He said. It was muffled against Richie's shirt, but he heard it with every fiber of his being. 

"Eddie. All I've wanted… all I've wanted for so long was to tell you and to hold you and I never thought I'd get this far, and I don't fucking know what to do next." 

"You drive me to the townhouse." Eddie said, quietly. 

Richie's brain shifted, putting things together with pieces no one had given him. 

"Alright." He let go of Eddie and nodded. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked down. "We-we had our moment, yeah? We…" he took in a shaky breath. "It was nice." 

He was crumbling to dust right there. He was becoming nothing. He was sure he was disappearing. 

Eddie reached out and put his hand on Richie's neck. Richie's sigh made it out of his chest this time. 

"We had a moment… we can have more." Eddie said, timidly. 

Richie looked back up. Looked Eddie right in the eyes. His beautiful eyes. His beautiful everything. 

"Eddie. I love you."

"Richie, I love you too." 

Richie wrapped his hands around Eddie's waist and leaned down into a gentle kiss. Eddie smiled against his mouth. He tried to kiss back, but began laughing a wonderful, blissfully happy laugh. 

Richie started laughing too. They laughed until they couldn't breathe, just holding each other in the rain. 

"This was the scariest thing I ever did, Eddie. It could have really ended the world." 

"Scarier than fighting It?" 

"Losing you? That's the scariest thing I can imagine." 

"Come on." Eddie said, pulling him along. 

"Eddie, I don't remember what happens next." 

Eddie frowned. "Don't worry about that, Richie, please. When you worry about that, you always-" 

An alarm rang. It chirped out, again and again, piercing through Richie's skull. 

He shook his head slowly. "No. Eddie, no-" 

Eddie squeezed his hand tighter. Richie shook his head faster, tears coming now as freely as they ever had in his life. 

"Eddie, _please_ don't let go of me." 

"I won't." 

"Eddie… take me with you." 

"I can't." 

Richie woke up, all his limbs curled in, his face hot with tears. The alarm was still blaring. He unplugged his clock. 

He hugged his knees to his chest and sobbed. Nothing hurt worse than that dream. Nothing felt better than that dream. His heart pounded in his chest like it wanted to jump out of his body. 

"Eddie, I love you." 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ....
> 
> I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.


End file.
